So this upcoming week I am going to try to write a blog post everyday leading up to the first weekend of Austin City Limits. This post will kind of function as a guide for those who are trying to figure out the best way to do it this year, I sectioned it out and hopefully you can typecast yourself.
For the “Bro…. ACL’s lineup was just lame this year” (high schoolers, select frat guys)
- Kendrick Lamar is just about the only guy you are actually excited for this festival. Don’t miss Backstreet Freestyle for a solid grind sesh and a chance to yell at friends hogging the annual Everclear shots
- Internally debate whether to head back for your frat post-party or to sing along to about 2.5 songs at Kings of Leon (Use Somebody/Sex on Fire)
- Trip out with your friends at Kaskade and distance yourself far from all those hipsters
- Key to the festival – Power-through holding hot girls on your shoulders when all you really want is a bottle of water
- Bonus points for a scorpion make out
For the “music elitist”
- Make sure to yell over HAIM’s “Don’t Save Me” that you have seen this song performed better “like 3 or 4 times before this” to your neighbor
- Definitely avoid Vampire Weekend because they were only good when others didn’t like them
- VERY IMPORTANT – casually bring up in every conversation the amount of straight years you have been attending ACL & your aftershow schedule
- Key to the festival – Arrive for the 11 AM shows and leave around 4 when the bands start getting very “radio-y”
For the “hipster themed weekend” girls
- Hit up Free People three separate times this week to get the perfect outfit that shows how independent your spirit truly is
- DO NOT under any circumstances forget your flower headband **Cardinal rule
- And remember – if you don’t Instagram it… it’s like it never happened. I don’t care how bad your cell service is!!
- Make shit up about your opinion on Atoms for Peace (but where’s Bon Iver?? I loved him…)
- Key to the festival – Leave show immediately if another girl is wearing the same shirt as you (but you look better anyway so it’s fine)
Believe me… I’m guilty of annoying stuff too, it’s all in good fun.